I thought that no escape there is. I will always feel this inner tremor that overwhelms me and not let me reason. I would like to turn it off and finally feel peace, but it is permanent. He sleeps with me and I wake up with it. I despair the TV, Internet makes it worse.
Social anxiety experienced before in reality, now moves to digital; I can not rest. I read that 18% of people in the world suffer from it as well as I. If so, why it seems more difficult for me? I don’t know what means to be calm; even when I only hear my breathing I think if I do well or if I am mistaken in doing so.
All my choices have purpose; However, nothing works like I planned it. My anxiety increased when I learned that people with my problem are more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders. Eventually the depression came over me and I felt under the water.
Today I feel better. I have worked on my problem, I have improved, but I still need help. I leave certain habits to finally release me from this nightmare. But – of course – you can never achieve it.
- I don’t know what to do with your hands when I meet new people.
- Takes long to make eye contact with people and when I do, I feel that my eyes uncomfortable the other.
- My mind makes me think that all I seen when I travel indoors.
- When I go to the movies I am asking my companion to order for me.
- I bite the inside of my lips inadvertently when interacting with someone I don’t know.
- It is possible to start to talk nonstop; the need to avoid awkward silences makes me say things that in other circumstances would never mention.
- Sometimes I smile or make jokes at awkward moments in order to avoid that others are disappointed with me, although there is no reason for this to happen.
- I distance myself from noisy conversations, screams and outrageous laughs cause me more anxiety.
- In family meals game with food, waiting for that as well and the fork does not have to answer any question.
- Restless leg syndrome appears at all times.
- I prefer to buy online, so I don’t have to deal directly with retailers or other persons.
- I ask someone else to order pizza over the phone, I get nervous talking to strangers.
- Rechino teeth when I’m in large groups of people, so much so that one of them is already smaller than the rest.
- I use too many repetitions when I speak; make my case causes me tension.
- I don’t understand the body language of people, most of the time I play it as a rejection.
- I spend hours trying to decide if it is worth leaving or if it is better to just stay at home.
- I doubt if you really like my best friends.
- I always suspect on the grounds that others have to get closer to me.
- When someone speaks gives me fear losing concentration, so – ironically – I end up losing the thread of the conversation.
- Always feel panic that another person is watching all my physical defects.
- I guess tens of different scenarios for any future meeting; I is hard to live in the moment, so I imagine the possible consequences of all the interactions you have with others.
Social anxiety has not ruined my life completely; I try to get used to it and, above all, try to solve it progressively. It is good to practice with the people closest to me, so delete certain prejudices and fears that prevent me to open myself with others. In the background, I know that the best option is to go up to an expert and ask for help. I just hope, someday, lighten the burden that weighs upon my shoulders.